Self destruction

      

Could I've been wrong to have hopes and dreams?

Could I've been wrong to think I would be the saviour in my family?

Could I've been wrong to wish for a better life?

Because my dreams have been shattered by my childish mistakes

My hopes destroyed by a stupid desire to belong and be loved.

I'm nothing close to what I had thought I would be

I'm not the woman I believed I would turn out and be

You may say I'm strong, intelligent and sophisticated

But all that doesn't matter when all I see is a trail of failures

and disappointments one after the other.

Could I've been stupid to sell a dream of a better life to myself?

When all I've known is suffering and pain

 And all I ever thought is a quick escape

Could I've been wrong to believe that I'm stronger than my past?

 and the future is bright?

When all I ever face is the reminder of how stupid I've been

 and that I'm not where I'm supposed to be!

 I could be wrong to hope and believe that life might change for the better?

-By Sipatise Badli